nightmares

oh, i have never been what you would call nightmare prone i generally just have very vivid dreams that are usually pleasant or at least not scary. Sometimes my dreams are rather odd and seem to relate to nothing but that is o.k. by me.

well any way when i do have a night mare it usually fairly scary. i had one last night and it went a little like this: I am outside walking through a play ground my phone rings and the I.D. says it's my brother so i answer " hi what do you want?" creepy voice on phone " I love you" ( not my brother ) ME: "who is this?!" creepy voice: " it's me, i love you" ME: " who the fuck is this?!!!!" creepy voice: " it's me i have your bother and his phone at your house, i love you" ( at this point i realize the voice is the abusive ex boyfriend) I drop the phone and run home, i got there in like two seconds, i guess time runs faster in your dreams. i get home my mom is having tea in the kitchen and my brother is not there nor is his phone. I run up to my mom and scream " he's in the house he's in the house!!!!" she has a frantic look on her face and seems to know who i am talking about with out asking any questions. i scream " we have to leave he's in the house he has J.W. he's in the house!!!!!!" we run for the back door because it is closest and the ass hole appears in the window on our door. so we book it out the front door to a neighbors house call the police ........... then i wake up in a cold sweat to the sound of my alarm clock.

You know i though i had gotten rid of him. sure i let go of him and what he did ( or so i thought) i guess the after effects can linger. all i know is that isn't the first night mare i have had with him in it and i need to find some way to get him out of my soul. I kick him out of my heart and my mind but i guess he is still in my subconsciousness.