Halloween

a booga booga booga.......... Halloween is one of the funnest holidays of all. I love getting dressed up in a costume that i made myself. Last year i was queen of the spiders... OOOOOOOOOH.... I made a crown of spiders and i had a wand with spiders on it that i could use to control my minions! I was an evil queen! This year i am going to be mother nature. There will be lots of green and i have a crown of flowers. I would like to be somewhat seductive as this character we will see how that works outs I tend to be better at portraying scary characters. I will be sure to post pictures of my costume when it is all put together.

Daddy

Here is a picture of me and my daddy in honor of the anniversary of his passing : October 16, 1994

cranky

Today i am feeling cranky!! i have been rather moody the last few days and i couldn't for the life of me figure out why? then last i was talking to my friends about how i was feeling moody. One jokingly said " you need medicine for that " That made me laugh :) then another one of my friends looked up and said " It's October" and a light went off in my head, October 16th will be the 14th anniversary of my dads death! That explains my moodiness HELLO how could that of slipped my mind.

Well today i have been really really cranky! It has been many many years since my Daddy pasted and each year it becomes easier to deal with, well easier is not the right word it is never really easy but it is less heavy. i guess this year it was at least light enough for me to forget it was coming ( that's a guilt trip waiting to happen ) or perhaps i just pushed out of my mind. who knows? I guess i am being a downer today, oh, here, i will share a happy memory of my daddy that will make me feel better:

let's see, hmmmmm, i know, i will list a few things i loved about him:
1. he gave the best hugs because he had a squishy belly
2.he used to laugh out loud while reading the Sunday comics
3.I was without a doubt a daddy's girl
4.Whenever he went out to the store he would bring me back something. when i was about 14 he started to not know what to get his teenage daughter so he bought me a fork, yup, that's right, a fork. It had a pretty handle and he thought i would like it. While it is an odd gift i have used it every day to eat dinner since. Actually it may be the perfect gift, It will last forever, i won't out grow it, It is useful, and i can pass it on if i ever have children.

well on that happy note i will go now

my time.....

let's see this has been a rather univentful day but pleasent just the same. True joy in life is found in the little things that occur each day. You don't need fireworks and pareads to experience joy. Joy can be found almost anywhere if you just slow down and open your eyes. Here ar some examples of where i find joy everyday..... a babies smile, a cool fall breeze, a nice hot cup of tea, hot shower, knitting with friends or by myself, finding a dollar in my pocket.................... I could go on and on but i won't.

The past few months have been particularly hard for my to find joy I have managed to find some it was just a lot harder than usual. There are several reasons why this has been hard let's see: job burnout, having an abusive boyfriend, dumping an abusive boyfriend, expensive things keep needing to be fixed on the house well those are the big ones i won't drag on.

So i have decided to try and focus on all of the little things that are wonderful and cherish every happy moment i have.